Beyond the Pain

It’s a frosty day… and I’m in pain.

But, it’s not just the cold and damp (which often trigger Fibromyalgia). It’s the lack of sleep.

I woke with pain (a reaction to an OTC) at midnight and didn’t get back to sleep. 4 Hours just isn’t enough sleep. Ideally it’s 7 or 8.

So, what do I do?

Take it easy. Particularly since I have a 3 hour drive ahead of me. I’m looking forward to spending time with my daughter and to the mountains. I’m not looking forward to the trip.

So, I’m not tackling any tough projects this morning.

Just stuff that’s easy or that I enjoy — like writing this Blog.

In Macbeth, Act II, Scene II Shakespeare writes about sleep that knits the raveled sleeve of care.

My sleeves are definitely ravelling. Time to nap or rest.

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I went for an assessment at Myosymmetries. I was hoping that they’d tell me a) Yes, you have Fibromyalgia and b) we can help.

Both wishs came true. But, what I didn’t expect to hear was, "You know the trouble with you Type A’s is that you’re Type A’s"

I lookes askance and asked, "What do you mean?"

The good Doctor replied, "many of patients with Fibromywalgia are Type A. You guys just don’t know when to quit!"

That was last September and I’ve had a lot of time to think about it.

He was right. I confess. I have Type A tendencies.

I have a hard time sitting still. Even on vacation I have to be doing something, usually touring around.

20 some years ago I saw a psychologist for help with depression, I remember him saying to me, "you know Lyle you do more when you’re depressed than most people who aren’t depressed do!"

Hmm!

Didn’t listen then.

In his book, When The Body Says No, Gabor Mate talks about the high cost of ‘pushing it’ all the time.

It’s taken me a long to realize, probably because it’ taken that long to admit, that I push myself inordinately.

I still leaning to give it a rest.