Beyond the Pain

This post’s title is a riff on one of my fav Tina Turner tunes, “What’s Love Got To Do With It”?

Well, for those of us whose chronic pain orginates from childhood sexual abuse; I’d say EVERYTHING!

We’ve all heard about the Body/Mind thing. We’ve all heard about the Mind/Emotion thing. We’ve all heard about the Mind/Spirt thing. But, few of us (well at least me) seldom heard about the SEXUAL thing.

What do I mean?

Early on in therapy I learned that there is a BIG connection between the Mind and the Body. Through Cognitive Therapy I began to change the way I thought and the way I talked to myself. This helped mitigate my depression.

As I read hundreds of Self Help books I began to see the connection between Body / Mind and Emotion. Then came a 4th dimension: Spirit. I’ve long been a spiritual seeker but only in the last 15 or so years have I explicitly explored spiritual beliefs that are non-Christian.

So, up until recently my understanding was that the parts, or pieces, or aspects of our beings that intertwined and interacted with each other were just 4: Mind, Body, Spirit, Emotion.

Then I began to do some relationship work with my best friend Bill Astalnok who is a Certified “Body Vibrance” Coach. I was surprized to learn that the model which underpins Body Vibrance work is 5-fold.The added element being SEXUAL.

As I began to think about that it made a lot of sense. After all, sexual abuse victims have Tribal wounds; wounds that lodge in the 1s Chakra.

And, all the Cognitive Therapy in the world will not touch or release the Trauma stored in our sexual organs.

So, 2 years ago I sought out a local Tantric Coach to help me free up my sexuality. Unfortunately, I got sick … probably because I wasn’t then ready to really DO the Work.

Now though, I believe I am ready!

So, starting next week I’m going to be doing some Tantric Healing work.

My goal is to heal the pain of sexual abuse and to free up my creative, Kundalini energy.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

All meds, whether man made or natural, have side effects. And, if anybody is going to get them… it’s me.

So, two weeks ago I convinced my GP to let me try out Effexor XR (in another post Ill explain why I believed this could make a difference).

Within 2 days, YES 2 days, I felt no Fibro pain and had lots of energy.

Within 5 days I knew I had TOO much energy … hypomania here I come! In fact, people with Bipolar Affective Disorder are at risk for having their mania triggered by Effexor. Had to know it would happen to me. STRIKE ONE!

So, I had my GP issue a new prescription which cut the dosage in half.

Within 7 days, of starting Effexor, I knew I would have to stop taking it.

Why?

Side effects.

Imagine your skin feels like it’s on fire. Imagine it’s so dry the Sahara looks like a steamy tropical jungle by comparison. Imagine that no matter how much lotion you slather on your body: the burning hot, needle itch won’t go away.

Now imagine at the same time that no matter how exhausted you are you can’t turn your brain off … you can’t sleep … for days.

Side effects.

On Monday this week, I had been itching and desperately trying to avoid scratching my whole body for 4 days. I suspected it was a side effect but there was nothing in the drug warnings that the drug store included with the perscription. So, in a moment of genius, I decided to call the pharmacist.

She suspected the same as I did, but wasn’t certain because I didn’t have a rash. I was P’d when I hung up, went to bed, and finally went to sleep 3 hours later.

When I got up in the morning there was a message on the voice mail from the pharmacist. She had done some research. SURE ENOUGH, 4% of people who take Effexor suffer from vasodilation which causes a hot, dry, itchy feeling. STRIKE TWO!

Then later on Tuesday I decided to relook at Effexor’s side effects. Buried in a long list was this entry “trouble sleeping.” Bingo! STRIKE THREE.

So, I decided to stop taking Effexor.

But, turns out that’s easier said than done.

Next post: The joys of withdrawal!