Beyond the Pain

Most of my friends, and even much of my family, don’t quite get the fact that I am in pain constantly.

That means, like, every minute of every day of every week of every month.

Some ask, “How can you stand it?”

I typically respond, “What choice do I have?”

If I choose to live, then I choose to experience pain. Because … so far … and I haven’t given up hope … I will find relief for this pain.

How bad is the pain? Well, the medical profession likes to ask you to measure your pain on a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is the worst pain you’ve ever experienced. I have problems with this approach to rating pain but that’s another discussion.

To convey how bad the pain is I say, “15 out of 10!”

The truth is the pain has gotten worse over the years. And, it’s not like I haven’t tried “pain killers”. They call them that because they kill the pain while killing you. I’ve tried more than a dozen medications and a half dozen alternative therapies. They haven’t worked.

In fact, all of the traditional pain drugs have created horrendous side effects. To quote Drugs.com “All medications have side effects.” I seem to be the sort of person who gets the most obscure, rare side effect of a drugs.

NO MORE DRUGS FOR ME.

I have been obsessively collecting weather and other data, for the last 10 years, in an attempt to identify the cause or causes of my pain.

I knew that the unstable weather of Calgary provoked my pain. But, not always.

Finally, the other day, I got the solution.

It is weather plus my level of stress that evokes pain.

And, I’ve had a shit storm of stress lately.

Here’s the good news. I can DO something about my stress.

So, I’ve been dusting off all those stress management techniques I used to teach and using them myself.

Wish me luck!

As I approach my 63rd birthday I have much to be grateful for.

I want to express my gratitude to:

• The first responders who cut me out of my car,
• The EMS team who recognized that my carotid arteries were shut down and treated  them accordingly,
• The ICU team who didn’t give up for 14  days,
• The doctors and nurses of Unit 71, in particular Brandon, Meighan, Martha, Jennifer, Lorraine, and Brooke,
• The staff of Unit 58, in particular Andrea, Speech Therapy; Jacky, Physiotherapy; Monique, Occupational Therapy; and Zoe, Recreational Therapy,
• My family who had to deal with the prospect of my death or my vegatative status,
• And finally here’s to the visitors I’ve had.

I am still struggling  with why God spared me.