Beyond the Pain

Epilogue as Prologue

I died three times, that sixty third year of my life.

The first time I died it wasn’t my fault, really. It was his fault. My doctor’s fault, that is. He had prescribed Morphine for my pain. I cleary remember him saying, “Now you know you to be very careful with this prescription. I don’t have to tell you Morphine can kill you, if you’re not careful. I trust you because you’ve always been careful with your meds. But, you need to follow my instructions exactly.”

And, then Dr.White added, and this was his fatal mistake, “if you find one tablet of Morphine doesn’t kill the pain after four hours, take a second one. And, then if the pain still hasn’t subsided ”

Less than twenty four hours later I woke as if from a dream. “Wake up Mr. Lachmuth. Wake up, Can you hear me. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

I opened my eyes and looked into the face of one of God’s angels. Coopery red, kinked hair framed a freckled, round pale Irish face. Deep chocolate brown eyes looked intently into mine. “Do you know where you are Mr. Lachmuth.”

“Nuhnhh. Nuhhn”, I slurred, my mouth full of cotton wool and my lips as dry as a prairie dust storm. Big Red, for that is what in my mind I called her, said, “I’m going to lift your oxygen mask and swab your lips with a cotton ball soaked in water. It should relieve the dryness you feel on your lip and in your mouth. Do you understand Mr. Lachmuth Nod once if you do.”.

  In a moment you’re going to feel a little poke in your arm. I’m going to give you some fluids to hydrate you and them I’ll give you some medicine to combat the Morphine. Nod once if you understand, Mr. Lachmuth.”

I nodded once. And, then Red slipped a needle gently into the vein in my left arm. I was pleasantly surprised: it was just a tiny poke. The IV began to drip slowly into my vein. Red said, “Now I’m going to give you a little dose of Naloxone. The Naloxone will counter act the Morphine you took. Here we go.”

The Naloxone hit like a runaway frieght train accelerating down the steep eastern slopes of the Rockies. And, I finally knew the feeling my little brother had been trying to desribe. The lava exquisitely, slowly, caressing the insides of my vein. I pictured PacMan frenetically chewing the molecules of morphine. Better than ten thousand orgasms.Bringing me closer, closer to Heaven. To finally see and know God.

I had always wondered why addicts chased The Dragon. Now I knew. For The Dragon, accompanied by Big Red my guardian angel travelled through my veins, bypassing my heart, and an instant later exploded in my brain. It was like dancing on the stars. Like breathing the Ether between the Planets. In an instant understanding at the depth, bredth, and full extent of my Soul: I finally knew God because just for a moment I was God. And, at the same instant I was all her angels. And, his Messenger.

  Then already the feeling, the knowing, began to fade …

 To be continued

This is a pre-publication excerpt from Crash!: My Journey Beyond The Pain

Copyright 2014, Lyle T. Lachmuth, All Rights Reserved

His name was David.

He was a good looking man in his forties, always well dressed with a regal bearing in spite of his disability. He was likely taller than me but I would never know that, for that first time I met him he was confined to an electric wheelchair. I never learned by what magic he operated the wheelchair. I noticed some kind of device protruding from the right arm of the chair but I didn’t know how it worked. Voice commands? Subtle movements of his head? Psychic control? I never asked him, for I was captivated with his story.

I had occasionally seen him around the unit, only occasionally after lunch and supper meals, for he generally ate his meals in his room. I assumed it was because he was embarrassed to be fed like a baby in front of the other patients, I guess I assumed that because he was always dressed in slacks and golf shirts unlike most of us who wore jeans or sweats.

One time, when I was having my right leg manipulated by Kenny, I noticed David lying on the other exercise bed in the physiotherapy room. His wife, or at least I assumed she was his wife, was being taught how to exercise his legs and arms because he could not move them for himself. Sadly it would be a long, long time before David’s wife would be able to apply her new found skills.

It was my last day in the hospital. And, I was eager to get home to my apartment. Nine o’clock had come and gone and my son-in-law still had not arrived to pick me up. Normally I don’t particularly mind waiting. I usually have a book to read. Or, I will just wander around the corridors of my mind enjoying the imaginings conjured up there. Then David arrived. I had never seen him in all the times I had spent in the west waiting area / TV room. When David told his story I finally knew why God had arranged for me to wait.

This is a pre-publication excerpt from CRASH! The final published material may differ from this.

COPYRIGHT 2012 Lyle T. Lachmuth, All Rights Reserved